Moving: A Study in Deepening
“The deeper my learning goes, the deeper my practice goes…the deeper I go inside, the deeper I connect with All…”
- Me (after a particularly good, intense home yoga session the other day)
I just finished exercising/working-out/doing yoga/stretching like a mofo about an hour ago. I’m still buzzing from it: muscles, tendons, bones, skin, veins, etc., all pulsing with the residual energy boost and feeling oddly peaceful. A bit spent, too, honestly; miraculous that I actually stayed awake, going deeper than ever, in fact, while in savasana. Definitely had some small degree of separation from the slightly sore bod, focused on “surrender”, working on “no expectations” and definitely had a fleeting glimpse of Nothing, a merciful momentary lapse of mind chatter.
Since the beginning of my yoga instructor training, way back when, (last year ;) I’ve been feeling a shift, of sorts, happily, and not unexpectedly, as I unlearn misconceptions and asana misalignments, now correcting and integrating… It’s been an incredible process as I gain confidence, owning the identity/purpose/path of Teacher, knowing that I am acquiring valuable knowledge and experience that I am now delightfully obligated to share for others’ benefit. It’s feeling eerily natural as my education unfolds, as do I; when something happens so matter-of-factly, I know in my heart that I’m doing exactly what I need to, being blessed and given the means to become an effective instrument of the Universe, having this fantastic and challenging experience called Human Life.
As I breathe peace in, I exhale gratitude. For everything. As I flex, extend, open, bend, reach…reviewing Sanskrit words and names, considering mantras, concepts, making “micro-adjustments”, emptying and filling my body, mind and spirit, over and over in a beautiful cyclic ritual. Having now learned of even more details for every pose, I am working harder and getting more out of them, some of which I’d previously thought of as “easy” or resting poses: “You want me do what? Drop, lift, tuck, pull, push, rotate, balance, center, invert, twist, all at the same time??” In some ways, for all the bumps, bruises and missteps, who knows; I may be in a slightly more toxic state than I was “back in the day”, but I feel lighter, in so many ways, for having this life-changing opportunity to “indulge” a growing [insistent] passion to move…
Speaking of MOVING, been contemplating that word a lot lately as I’m about to hit the proverbial road: it’s time to be closer with more family members (geographically and emotionally, ay?), heading back Eastward and setting-up camp in Rhode Island for the Next Chapter in this Grand Adventure of ours.
Billy “F’in” Joel had it right, man: Life is indeed "a series of hellos and good-byes", ain’t it? As I start collecting boxes, bubble wrap and packing tape, I am overwhelmed by a whole lotta epiphanies, metaphors and insights about this incredibly transformative and pivotal time in our lives here in Sunny SanDee. I’ve continued the [inevitable?] process of my personal and professional growth here, have met so many interesting and inspiring people, all teachers of myriad lessons, every one, including each kid I have the pleasure of knowing in my travels as a substitute teacher, possibly especially them, helping me to step-up to my adoration of children and a deep-seated calling to teach future generations how to live sustainably, mindfully and joyfully.
I'm downright giddy at the prospect of what lies ahead and taking my life and business(es) to the Next Level, knowing it'll be amazing and exactly what it needs to be. As I feel my own inner energetic vibration rise, I’m seeing a positive, expansive trend in my outer world, as well, lifting-up others in the process, whether feeding or cooking with them, organizing and beautifying or stretching and dancing with them…
While change is inevitable and transition challenging, daunting at times, I’m applying my current understanding of “surrender” (surely there’s a cool Sanskrit word for it) to the future, comfortable with and embracing the Unknown, trusting and knowing that “…no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should,” to paraphrase a favorite quote of mine from Max Ehrmann. I am just so pleased to report a profound sense of gratitude at this juncture, grateful for the people and places who have graced my SoCal schooling. If that includes You, please know that You had an impact on who I am becoming, so let’s just see where this ride is gonna take me…
As I write and reflect, I am humbled and moved. Yoga is all around me.
I thank you for taking some time with me and reading... Namaste.
Intuitively and Gratefully Yours,
p.s. Special thanks to Katie D’Amato, a wonderful (gently ass-kicking ;) Yoga Instructor at Mira Costa College who inspired this piece, for being a total Rockstar of a teacher: authentic, knowledgeable, caring, supportive and giving… She has made me stronger and given me further insight to effective and loving guidance for one’s students. (and how to kick their butts without hurting them, eh?)